It’s not only me.

Recent days have been first a blow to the head, then a time of escape, and finally a moment of decision.

Something happened in my life recently that was first such a big shock. At those moments I felt it was unfair. I felt anger rise, I felt frustration manifest, I felt denial sink in. This lead to me running away. I didn’t want to face the fact that it was actually happening or rather that it had happened… again. I would find myself sometimes aimlessly just looking towards one direction - though wanting to think of what I could do, my mind just contined to disagree with me and stay either completely muddled up or completely blank. I started worrying about the people around me and what could possibly happen if things turn out for the worst.

What’s next for me to say but what I usually talk about. A hope so true that always saves the day. God came in and intervened yet another time. Through someone close to me, God helped me make a decision to search deep into my heart and see what I really wanted to do. To be honest, to understand, and not to miss the opportunity He’s given to me to be used by Him.

At first I thought it was such a huge problem, and actually it is. But somehow I feel that nudging hope that I know everything will turn out in the best way – whatever the outcome may be.

I praise Him for giving this opportunity. I praise Him for putting me through this. All I ask now is for Him to give me the courage and boldness to respond to whatever He desires for me to do.

At first I though it was only me with such a dramatic life, but it hit me today that alot people experience the same or even worse than I have – who am I to complain? I trust that God is at work in everyone’s life – no matter how messed up it may be. He’ll save the day, no matter what the outcomes will be.

“The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save.” (Zephaniah 3:17)

Holidays…

Unpublished post from December ‘09

Man… It’s crazy what’s been happening during this holiday.

The great height of actually being on holiday, and the ‘not-so-great’ down of experiencing being far away from God.

Yeah, true you can experience God wherever you are, no matter what the situation, but it’s difficult when you loose the support and encouragement from your bros and sisters.

During this holiday, I’ve been trying my best to stand strong. Though there have been some ‘interference‘ during this time, I still thank God for still guiding me back to His ways – the right ways.

I had such a desire to reach out to my family and friends here while I’m on holiday. But being the rejection-fearful man that I am, I always shrink back. To think that even very very very minute and subtle persecution just makes me shut up. It’s the old me… always coming back. But despite the missed opportunities to share and the failure to stand up and stand out for God, He still allowed me to experience a growth in reaching out. His love is just unbelievable – just really a love that has no condition.

How I felt before:

I caught up with heaps of my family and friends here in the Philippines. They talked about anything and everything – they gossiped, talked about alcohol, talked about bgr’s, homosexuality (as though it was just a norm now both guys and girls) – these things created such a bitterness in me. I even asked myself why these people could think in such way, it’s just against the will of God. What’s interesting about it is that actually, they haven’t changed… I have. I knew that my bitterness was wrong. I decided to set my attitude right before the Lord – and He created a different emotion in me.

How I feel now:

As they all shared as well they’re struggles in life, failures, looks of regret and uncertainty, looks of temporary happiness and shame – on top of their misled views, sadness just burst forth from within me. To see their lives in such a state. To see my life so blessed compared to theirs. To see my life found in Christ, and their life lost in a mixed up, messed up world – as though going by day by day just to get by in life not really experiencing a comfort that is theirs for the taking (and for free too!). A life they have yet to experience, one filled with joy, comfort, security in uncertainty, love abounding, ever-enduring.

One day I pray that they will come to know about this great life, this true life that God has to offer – and finally have it for themselves. One day…

Sad. Strength. Solution.

It’s sad I haven’t been able to blog well. I thought of posting some stuff before about the mission trip I went to and the sub-district advance we had a looooonnnngggg time ago… yet until now nothing’s happened ^^;

I’m currently in the Philippines and man, it’s difficult hey. The immense amount of distractions, the fact that I’m on holiday and the difference of the people that are surrounding me – they just hinder me from meeting with God daily. Though I know my spirit is willing, it’s true that my body IS weak.

How I need to remind myself of God’s love, the joy that comes from Him, the strength He’s promised that can help me overcome everything.

Loving God is really not just an emotion. It’s a decision you have to make despite the fluctuations in your feelings.

God refresh me, God remind me, God come and let Your presence reside in me. Let me experience You once again.

The promise of prayer.

God continues to amaze me how He answers my prayers.

One time, we went to a sister’s house for praise and worship practice and found that no one was at home. Our sister sms us and told us that she was stuck at the bus stop ‘coz the rain was pouring down hard. In an almost instant reaction to the message my brothers and I started praying for the rain to stop – in faith we believed that God would stop the rain. And as we ended our prayer, the rain became lighter then lighter and finally stopped. A few minutes later our sister arrived and we were able to start our practice.

Another time was when after I had my interview for my nursing job next year. I prayed to God that my intention/reason for desiring the job was the right one – I prayed for that first and foremost. Then lifted to God this desire of mine at the same time asking Him to let His will be done (‘coz I know He knows the best for me ^__^). I asked my brothers and sisters to pray along with me too. And that was over a period of weeks or just more than a month, and one Thursday morning my mobile received a ‘blocked call’. It was the hospital where I applied and had my one and only interview – and they offered me a position for next year.

Recently another amazing thing happened. Now this occurence is definitely of more value than the previous two mentioned. At the start of my uni study, perhaps my first semester (I think) I met this friend. Now this friend of mine lives relatively near my place and we caught the bus together when there was still this free bus QUT Carseldine to QUT Kelvin Grove. This person was not Christian, she believed in God but that was it. As my burden to reach out increased, I started to take steps to create opportunities to share about Jesus. I started reading my connect journal and Purpose Driven Life in front of her, and she would ask if she could read a bit while we were on the bus. I also started praying for this person that her life will one day turn to Christ. But as semester after semester flew by, very quickly and with the cancellation of the free bus we took to uni, I lost contact with this person – and with it the burden to pray for her salvation. But God is always attentive to our prayers, and provides in His timing.

Proverbs 15:29, “The LORD is far from the wicked but he hears the prayer of the righteous.” (NIV)

Psalm 66:19 “but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer.” (NIV)

1 Peter 3:12a, “For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer,” (NIV)

One morning last week, I had left my laptop open and I saw this friend of mine message me after like 1 1/2 year on msn. We got talking and she had told me how she had encountered something in life, and at that moment I saw a great need for God. Our conversation immediately turned to one about Jesus, and I was able to invite her to church. And praise the Lord Jesus she came to church! And as we shared to her the gospel; as she saw the concrete love of God through His people, and of course; as she had a desperate need for God in her life, she decided to turn her life to Jesus Christ!

Sometimes we ask from God in desperation and expectation, yet we forget after a while of ‘no answer/s’. But as we pray let’s trust that God hears us (1 Peter 3:12a), and will provide in His perfect timing.

All glory to the Lord, Jesus!

Oceania Convention 2009

I said I’d put something up in regards to this, and I will keep to my word.

The OC this year was great! Though there was one thing missing - rice!

We were so desperate for rice after the three days convention that we went all around the city that night and insisted to have dinnner at an Asian restaurant that served rice (oh and not too expensive as well). Praise God for His providence. We did manage to find a place. We ended up eating at Yum Cha twice two during our two day extra stay at Melbourne.

 

We had a great time during our extra days there, but enough of that. What was even of greater experience was the actual convention. Though sadly I don’t have any pics of the 3 day convention itself. It was just a time of expiencing God and growth in God’s Word and of course, a time of moving in the Spirit.

Personally God taught me two main lessons during this time.

1. He reminded me of how great it was to dwell in His presence. And honestly though we did have a blast eating alot of food and fellowshipping with one another on our extra days in Melbourne, it couldn’t compare to dwelling in the presence of God. Each and every time I was in the presence of God during the OC, it was a different encounter with Him. At times I was just at sheer bliss of His wonderful presence, and other times I was kneeling on the floor weeping at His feet. It was an amazing experience.

2. I was so eager for God to speak to me something new and make experience new things in Him in many different areas of my Christian walk. But God stuck me hard when He revealed to me that that wasn’t His plan for me during that time, instead He wished for me to look back on all the things He’s already done in my life. He spoke to me in the verses in 2 Peter 1:12-15. I was so caught up in wanting ‘new things’ that I had forgotten of the very important revelations that God had already given to me. I praise Him for that great reminder, and today I continue to remind myself of things that has spoken to me – to allow me to reflect on them and respond to them.

I’m excited for next year’s OC!!! XD

In His sight.

3rd unpublished post.

After the Daniels’ Ipswich Mission Trip.

Isaiah 43: 1-5, “But now, this is what the Lord says – He who created you, O Jacob, He who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have smmoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious in my sight, and because I love you, I will give men in exchange for you, and people in exchange for your life. Do not be afraid, for I am with you…”

For some reason I would always have my bookmark  at different places in my bible. I know I bookmark those pages when I know that there are verses or a verse that I want to go back to and reflect on more, but I’ve never done that in the past, unfortunately. But a few days after mission trip, I turned to the bookmark and found these verses.

I really, seriously needed that reminder of God’s love for me. I’ve been struggling with a few things, and still struggling actually, but God is good. He never fails to remind us of His love, His grace, His mercy. Sometimes I can’t help but think ‘how is it possible’ that a God so great like Him can love us so much.

“Fear not… you are mine… I will be with you… your God… your Saviour… you are precious and honored in my sight… because I love you…”

I’m just continually reminded of how undeserving I truly am of His love. Someone who’s imperfect and  all messed up, yet loved by Him. Can’t help but sometimes ask, ‘Why me?’.

Thank you Lord for Your ever unconditional love.

Song Revelations

2nd unpublished post.

These past weeks have been a time of discovering more about myself, more about who I am in Christ. God’s spoken to me in many different ways and one of them is through worship songs.

From The Inside Out.

“A thousand times I’ve failed, Your mercy remains. Should I stumble again, I’m caught in Your grace. The art of losing myself, in bringing You praise.”

Heart After You.

“Create in me a new heart, one that follows You. Set my feet in Your ways, to live worthy of Your call. Draw me near to You Lord every single day. All I desire, a heart after You.”

You’ll Come.

“Chains be broken. Lives be healed. Eyes be opened. Christ is revealed. Spirit reign.”

Hosanna.

“Heal my heart and make it clean. Open up my eyes to the things unseen. Show me how to love like You have loved me. Break my heart for what breaks Yours. Everything I am for Your Kingdom’s cause. As I walk from earth into eternity.”

Mighty To Save.

“Everyone needs compassion, a love that’s never failing. Let mercy fall on me. Everyone needs forgiveness, the kindness of a Saviour. The hope of nations. My God is mighty to save, He is mighty to save.”

This was from a while back. I praise God that He spoke to me through these songs, and I praise Him even more that He continues to do so. As I seek God once again for His will in my life, I know He’ll speak to me once again. In this important season of my life where God is speaking to me something new, I know His Word will come forth!

Philippians 1:6, “being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

Justification. Sanctification.

1st unpublished post.

“Justification refers to your status before God. When you placed your faith in Jesus, God handed down the verdict that you are righteous. He transferred the perfect sinless record of Jesus to you.  He not only wiped away the record of your sin; He credited the righteousness of His Son to you.

Sanctification is a process – the process of becoming more like Christ, of growing in holiness. This process began the instant you were converted and will not end until you meet Jesus face to face. Through the work of His Spirit, through the power of His Word, and through fellowship with other believers, God peels away our desire for sin, renews our minds, and changes our lives. This ongoing work is what we call being sanctified.”

~Joshua Harris

 

I was reading this book and came across this page about justification and sanctification. It was explained so clearly, but it made ask the question “Then why should we desire to be sanctified if we’re already saved?”

When questions like this pop in my mind, I always picture the scenario of another person asking me that very question. I always picture myself with a weird expression on my face trying to rummage through my brain cells for the answer that would best answer the question. But I do know better now. I know that if this does happen in reality, I know the Holy Spirit will be there to be back me up. But when I came across this, I did have a reason in mind hmmm… but somehow I was still very curious on what the author would say in regards to this, or if he would mention anything to answer my question.

Desperate for an answer, I spent the 60 or so minutes reading through the book while waiting for the bus and also while riding the bus home. The author didn’t fail to mention the very thing I was searching for. He explains “(For) The person who has experienced God’s grace and has been genuinely converted can still choose to sin, but he can’t love sin like he used to. He can’t continue in sin indefinitely.” It’s very true that if someone who has accepted Christ in his life, there is still that possbility to sin but if he’s truly experienced the love of God in his life, it’s impossible not to hate sin, it’s impossible to go by certain ways in your life that you know that displeases God.

1 John 3:9, “No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God.”

Publishing…

I’m going to take advatange of these next few days to finish and publish some draft posts I started out before.

2 Peter 1:12-14, “So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have. I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body, because I know that I will soon put it aside, as our Lord Jesus Christ has made clear to me.”

Hopefully I will be successful and be able to also share what GOD has revealed to me in the past weeks. OH! HE’s so AMAZING!

Just Don’t Know How.

I just don’t know how people in Daniels who are working full-time are able to come LG, prayer meeting, church then also shepherd people and all other things we’ve committed to.

Right now, I just feel so overwhelmed with just having to work two days consecutively. I’ve always been someone who dreads going to work. Everytime I have a shift coming up I would be stressing over it, complaining again ang again and again… Now I’m like that again. I just don’t feel like doing anything knowing I have work tomorrow again. I just don’t know! I’m just so frustrated at the same time just can’t help but think why I’m feeling this way.

I just read a sister blog a few minutes ago, and she wrote in her blog that she wanted to quit her job ‘coz it was so comfortable. I was dead surprised by this. I actually want to quit my job ‘coz it’s so tough! I hate dealing with all the responsibility, with all the challenges, the little rejections, the stress, the rush. But you know, when I read this sister’s entry, I couldn’t help but wonder, am I actually quite blessed that I have a challenging work? A work that continues to challenge me to grow in making decisions, grow in taking responsibilities, grow in my standing firm against rejection, grow in how I interact with people, grow in my servanthood heart, grow in praising God in the midst of challenges and tough times, grow in my dependence on Him and see how He can truly work even though sometimes you think it’s impossible.

Coming to think of it a bit more, I think God has another reason behind this sudden unexpected shift. Seeing it’s timing, I believe God’s trying to cover me in some way as well.

I just feel so ashamed with the words I just typed right now. It’s so selfish, it’s so self-centered. I failed to see God’s purpose in the midst of all this. I had forgotten the revelations that God spoke to me before when I had the same worries and thoughts in the past. One of them being is that my workplace is also a training ground for me, where God desires to grow me in many different area. I let my fears, my worries take over. But I praise God that even through this, He’s reminded me once again. I have to learn to look at things, situations through God’s eyes, to see that for every single thing that happens in our lives, He has a purpose, a reaon for it.

James 1:1-4, “Consider it pure joy, brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that testing your faith develops perserverance. Perserverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”